ben griffiths
an insight into the mind of a genius

Posts Tagged ‘depressed’

Life sucks….

Friday, December 2nd, 2005

For some reason today I just don’t feel so happy…

I think I am really disillusioned with this apartment, it really sucks not having my own proper room. Last night, I was sleeping but Shiho had to get something from the front room, which woke me up, then I got woken up again this morning by all the school kids…. I would like to move I think, but would lose so much money doing so…. :(
I’m also worried I’m not making the most of my time here, I’ve been here for 3 and a half months now, but not really achieved much, my Japanese is still really poor and it’s not as if I have hundreds of happy memories. All I feel like wanting to do now is to come home to Gowry and realisitically I can’t see that feeling getting any less…

Combine this with the fact I have now spent all my savings, no more safety money - so basically it just seems like I have wasted everything at the moment. I’ve shelled out £1600 for ONE MONTHS RENT on an apartment I don’t like, I used all my savings just to cover the month of me being ill and I now have to try and find another £600 just to come back to pick up my graduation certificate. Perhaps it would have been better to wait for graduation THEN come out here… stupid… oh and then my overdraft finishes it’s interest free period in June, so I need to have found another £600 by then.

Sucks hey…. well, to try and cheer myself up, I have bought a new notebook set (lol) for my Japanese :D All funky colours and a new pen… haha… simple things and all. I’ll take a photo later… lol…

I intend to categorise each thing I do (adjectives/verbs etc) so I can quickly find them in class and maybe use them a bit more.

Hmm.. this post really sucks hey, maybe I am just in a mass depressive state - this has happened a few times since here and usually something cheers me back up. I suppose I need to keep thinking “wow, I am in Japan and I AM going to achieve something” - it’s a once in a lifetime and all that.

I shall make more of an effort with everything (although this is still not going to help with the Gowry situation… ho hum…)